10 Easy Steps to Land Your Dream Job

dream jobYour thoughts have energy. The more you focus on what you hate about your current job or situation, the more of that you will get. On the contrary, when you are focused on what you WANT and LIKE about your reality and life, you get more of those things. Your dream job will manifest the faster you get clear on what is most important to you.

Manifesting your new more healthy and nurturing reality is much easier than you think. It just takes clarity and some thought and imagination on your part. I’m a certified Professional Coach, so I challenged a friend of mine to this exercise after he shared how unhappy he was in his current work situation and environment.

In order to get clear on what you want and make a change to create your ideal work or dream job, here’s a challenge you can accept or reject.

Write out the elements of your IDEAL next opportunity. Be as specific as possible and answer the following:

1. state your ideal specific type of work

  • what do you love to do, what are you good at, what makes you light up

2. describe your specific type of client(s) or customers

  • do you like working 1:1 with individual clients or customers, do you prefer group settings, etc

3. write specific details around the company/agency/or organization

  • is it a start-up, Fortune 500, agency, non-profit, etc.

4. describe in detail your ideal work environment

  • do you work in teams, independently, cross-departmentally

5. describe the type of people and level of interaction you would like

  • do you want to be around extroverts, teaming, collaborative, or independent thinkers with minimal engagement

6. write and visualize specific details around the part of the city, location or neighborhood you ideally will work in

  • do you want to work from home and occasionally go into the office, would you like to work with a global team, do you thrive on office interaction and want to go into the office to engage with others

7. get clear on the specific dollar amount you want along with the compensation structure

  • state what you ideally want to make in exchange for your efforts, ideas and contributions — do you want salary for a specific time commitment, commissions for increased sales, a hybrid of both. Be open to possibilities because anything is possible — your job is to get very clear on YOUR ideal situation and ask to be drawn to it

8. get clear on specific details around vacation time time off , personal days off

  • it’s easier to negotiate flexibility around hours, time off, vacation time and personal days upfront before you commit — maybe you’d like a take it as you need it vacation time policy work environment. Get clear on what is important to you, write it down and visualize it happening.

9. get clear on what you ideally want around work-from-home flexibility

  • envision what fits most ideally with your life situation and work style, you may be more productive with a one-day-a week work from home plan, or some other hybrid

10. what are the qualities of your ideal supervisor/manager/boss

  • do you like hands-on oversight or do you prefer more autonomy, identify the qualities of your ideal manager and list them specifically

You can and will manifest your ideal environment, opportunity or dream job, with the more clarity you have. The more specificity you write and imagine, believe and take steps to meet people who can introduce you to your ideal work, the faster it will happen. You first must see what you want, then believe that it exists, and take action to get yourself out in the world so that the universe can align you with your ideal work environment and experience.

I believe that we are all here to do work that we feel good about that contributes to the world in a way that makes things better for us all. If you are struggling to find that balance and connection to your higher purpose and are willing to take whatever steps are necessary to find it, raise your hand and step up. Whatever you believe is possible is possible. The word IM-possible confirms it — I M Possible.

bully boss

When Your Boss or Co-Worker is a Bully

First, you need to recognize that working for or with a bully is a choice. You can change how you respond or react to your boss or co-workers, or get out of the situation. Second, if the option of getting out of the situation is not an immediate reality, the following can help you navigate the difficult waters of having a bully for a boss.

If your boss or co-worker is new to you, and you are just discovering that they are a bully, the following will be helpful. If you have had a ‘bully’ for a boss or co-worker for some time, this will still help – and you may need to do some extra work to pull yourself up off the ground and dust yourself off.

1. Remember who you are

You must hold onto your inherent worth as a human being and contributor to the team or organization you are a part of. It may be helpful while you go through this period, or to reconnect with who you are, to read your resume and see all of the accomplishments and experience that you have.

A boss or co-worker who comes at you like a bully is consciously or more likely unconsciously trying to put you down to give themselves a boost of confidence. They are insecure at some level about themselves, whether it stems from a childhood incident or an experience in the workplace. It doesn’t make anything that they do or say right or appropriate, but it can help put things in perspective.

2. Don’t let them rattle you

Once you are feeling attacked or antagonized by your superior, the natural reaction is to defend yourself. Sometimes that response looks like the child mode where we are justifying what we did or explaining our thinking. Often this causes us to talk faster and at a slightly higher pitch as we work to justify our actions or decisions. Just because they think something does not make them right or accurate.

Slow down and think. Slow down your pace of speaking and ask a clarifying question. “From what I heard you say, you believe…..” This not only gives you time to think, it allows you to clarify something that you may have misread or misunderstood. If what you heard the second time is what you heard the first time, then you can buy yourself some time. Try saying things such as, “well I’m not sure I agree with you,” or “well let me think about that and get back with you.” The point is to not commit or agree with anything they are saying and to buy yourself time to think so that you can respond appropriately.

3. Document every conversation

Protect yourself and document what is said with each interaction. This will make it much easier to remember when and if you need to pull this out to refer to with HR or an attorney if it gets to that point.

4. Educate yourself

Become versed on the legal characteristics and description of a ‘hostile’ work environment. Stay alert to defamatory comments or remarks about anything non-work related that may be said to you. Bullying due to discrimination is never to be tolerated, just as bullying to be bullying should not be tolerated.

5. Detach from the outcome

Know that you do not deserve anything but authentic, open communication that is intended to help you grow as a professional, not tear you down. Anything outside of that is crossing the line of unnecessary antagonism and abuse.

6. Look for any truth in feedback

While a bully can make you shut down to their aggressive communication style, take a moment and separate the emotion from the feedback to filter through everything that may be said to determine if there is anything valid about the feedback you have been given. There may be a grain of truth or more in what they have told you about your performance, but if the delivery is hostile or over the top in tone, you could miss the whole message.

Take whatever lessons you can learn from your experience navigating the waters with an abusive or unenlightened boss or co-worker. You will definitely learn how “not” to be when leading, guiding, mentoring or interacting others. Sometimes one of the best lessons is to learn how you never want to be, to prevent anyone else from experiencing what you went through.